Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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