What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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