Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I need water and some morals
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
