Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
