she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
