I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize