1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize