can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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