I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
