I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The uberlube is also flammable
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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