Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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