i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
