last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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