why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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