You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
