I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You can't motorboat a personality
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
