i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
