I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize