i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I need to stop coming to work sober
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
