That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
