Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
