Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Randomize
