what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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