whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We don't watch enough power rangers
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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