That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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