You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize