my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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