My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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