I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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