Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
