He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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