Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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