oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
