i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
