"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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