so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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