my room smells like sperm. sweet.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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