she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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