erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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