theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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