ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Acid is not a monday night drug
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
