Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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