help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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