Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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