I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
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Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize