She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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