Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
