It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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