okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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