I must be too annoying 4 u.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize