You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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