Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im holly from the hills drunk
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
