Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
