I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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