Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
