I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
