At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
