He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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