we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
