The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
