I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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