Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Randomize
