oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful