Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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