did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
