We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
