carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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