Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
