would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
areolas are like halos for boobs.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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