I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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