i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
